skip to main |
skip to sidebar
This incident happened about three months ago...
(Thursday)
I looked into the mirror and realized that i had lots of white hair. I knew it was time to dye my hair as the last time i dyed it was before Chinese New Year. So, without much hesitation, i went to the salon to dye it.
I hate sitting in the salon because i feel isolated. After choosing my colour, the process started. My scalp started burning but that was normal for me. I dyed my hair all the time and i knew that it had to burn a little. It wasn't a big deal at all. I walked out of the salon with a new hair colour and i felt great. That night, i learnt that beauty has its price to pay.
My scalp was still burning and itching at the same time. I decided to sleep it off thinking that it was nothing.
(Friday)
I woke up the next morning and had trouble brushing my knotted hair. I felt bumps on my scalp and the sensation that i felt the night before was getting worse. The last time i felt that way was so many years ago when i dyed my hair at home.I washed my hair hoping that the water would soothe my scalp, but i was wrong. I rubbed my scalp every once in a while and became really irritated with everyone around me. When i started sweating it became worse. I had another early night.
(Saturday)
Nothing changed the next day and the situation became worse. I didn't want to go to the doctor because I was embarrass. After my shower, i had breakfast. All that i can feel was thousands of ants trying to pick out my scalp. I rubbed my scalp again but this time, i realized a numb sensation on my face specifically, my forehead. I panicked and my brother called my father. We went to the Emergency Room to get the treatment.The doctor didn't seem helpful as he looked like he was in a hurry to get back to his laptop. He prescribed medication and an injection. I wasn't afraid of needles, so it wasn't a big deal. The nurse told me i would be drowsy. We went and have lunch but there was no effect from the injection. I wasn't even drowsy! When i went home, nothing much changed.
(Sunday)
I woke up to find out that i was still feeling the same. The medication and injection didn't work at all. My dad took me back to the hospital, but the same doctor was on duty. So, we decided to go back in the evening. By then, my head felt really heavy, numb and the pain was just unbearable. I started coughing and having headache too. We went back to the hospital and luckily there were different doctors. I had a fever and my blood pressure was spiking due to the pain i was feeling. The other doctor observed my scalp and sure enough i had an allergic reaction to the hair dye. I was given two injections through the vein in my hand. One was steroid and the other was to help me sleep. No fever by the time i reached home.
(Monday)
The pain and burning sensation was mild. My forehead was still a little swollen.
It took about another three days for everything to get back to normal. That hair dye experience was a bad one and costs a lot. I was never allergic to hair dye and this came to me as a surprise. This taught me a lesson to do a test behind my ear or inner arm for skin sensitivity in the future. But, i don't think I'll go back to the salon to dye my hair anytime soon. I'll just have to accept my ever-growing whites!
*I'm writing this to share my experience and to educate everyone about allergic reaction to hair dye. If you are like me, it means that you are allergic to para-phenylenediamine or PPD which is in the hair dyes. Do go to the hospital as soon as possible if you have the allergic reaction after dyeing your hair. This is serious because this allergy has claimed a few lives.
One of the foods that i stopped myself from eating is shark fin soup. I have been taking this soup since i was a child during special occasions such as Chinese New Year. Although one small bowl of shark fin soup can costs up to a few hundred ringgit in my country, i don't think that it is worth taking it. This soup is like the most expensive soup and there are some benefits in it, but still i wouldn't take it. This is because of the fining process. Shark fin soup obviously means the shark's fin. I thought that they kill the shark and then take the fin, but i was wrong. They cut off the shark's fin and let the shark die. Without it's fin, the shark can't swim; resulting in drowning. Some people say sharks are cruel because they eat human and deserve to die,anyway. I agree with the first part, but not the second part. No living things should die that way. Do you cut off a murderer's hands and legs and let them die?I mean, they kill someone
too. So, i will not eat this delicacy because of its inhumanely killings. 
Another food that i grew up with and eating it in restaurants are roast suckling pigs. I stopped eating this cuisine when i hit puberty because of my thoughts. When this cuisine is served, the roast suckling pig is served with its face and even tail on a big plate; the whole thing!It puts me off because of the thought that such a young creature is being taken away from its mother to be slaughtered and roasted. A suckling pig in culinary is taken away from its mother around the age of two to six weeks. In my head, i have the image of a huge man slitting the throat of a newborn, cutting it open and roasting it. Since this image, i stopped eating this dish. It just gross me out especially with the teeth which is visible. So, that is another dish that i would say, "No, but no thanks" when it is offered to me.
If you want to unwind after a long stressful day, you might want to try out foot reflexology. I've tried out foot reflexology since my university years. I was in a shopping center, alone and tired of walking. I didn't want to go back to my hostel yet as it was a lonely place for me. So, i went to a foot reflexology shop.
The man asked me how long i wanted it so i said an hour because i had no idea what it was. I took off my shoes and put on the soft slipper and he guided me to a big arm chair. The lights were dimmed and there was elevator music playing in the background. After a minute or so, the man appeared with a big bucket of water.
I was asked to soak my feet in it. To my shocked it was hot water. It was REALLY HOT!! It was later that i found out; it is best to bear with it as it will disappear quickly. The hot water is used to clean your feet and open up the pore on your feet. I soaked my feet for about three to five minutes before the man took the bucket away.
When he came back, he wiped dry my feet with a towel. Then, he put some lotion on one of my feet and started massaging it and putting pressure on each points. It is believed that those points are our organs. If it hurts when the pressure is on certain point, then that organ or body part is not healthy. Sometimes it hurts and the best thing to do is take a deep breath and exhale. The whole process is similar with the next foot.
After that, the man took a wet hot cloth and wiped off the lotion so that it is possible to walk properly. When you go for a foot reflexology, you will feel relax and you will have a better sleep that night. Some people started sleeping as soon as the massage begins!
Ever since, I've been to a few foot reflexology center once every few months. So the next time you feel stress out, instead of lighting a cigarette or thinking of doing something silly, try foot reflexology. The atmosphere is welcoming and calming. Just close your eyes and relax.
It was about 6.30pm, when daddy and I went to the the last shop before heading home. It is a great day, not only because it is a cold Sunday but everything felt right. Daddy and I was picking out some eggs and talking in Hokkien, when a lady in her fifties listened to our conversation.
"You talk in Hokkien?" she asked my dad to make conversation. I don't know why. I just smiled thinking how awkward to barged in on our conversation.
"Is this your daughter?" she asked daddy again.
"Yes," daddy replied.
"Ooo...what is her name?" In my head i was thinking, What am I, INVISIBLE?
"Carina," daddy and I replied at the same time.
She smiled and walked towards me.
"Last time when you were a kid, you were thin. Now, so fat," she said.
To my surprise, I wasn't angry or sad at that comment. Normally I would be furious and ashamed but not this time. Have you looked in the mirror, lately? I thought with a smile across my face. I don't know where this attitude comes from but I guess I am sick and tired of people judging me by just looking at my size.
I've been slagged off by many strangers and this ends today. You can't hurt me anymore by saying that I am fat because I know who I am inside. I am not perfect and neither are you. My flaws make me human while your mean comment makes you rude.
For all the haters out there, who hates big and fat women, we are not the problem; YOU ARE. Don't be jealous because we have fuller boobs and butt. Only plus size women know how to enjoy our lives because we are not afraid of eating and putting on weight. My thought; if I don't eat and enjoy the food that I love, then, when will I enjoy it? Will it be when I am six feet under? Why should I starve myself or take slimming pills or drink weight loss tea? Why should I force the food I devoured earlier out from my stomach? Why should I step on the scale and wish that I am lighter than an hour ago? Why should I exercise until I can't feel my legs? Why should I cry myself to sleep and wish that tears would help me burn some more calories? Why should I go to bed with an empty stomach? Why should I do any this to make you say that I look good when I am dying inside?
I don't need your words, nor your advice because your words are meaningless. I don't need your words of praise because I know that I am beautiful inside and out. If you still have a problem with this, I have just two words for you...SCREW YOU!
Mr. Pipsqueak ran all the way home,
He didn't stop when he saw the gnome,
He ran with a wide smile on his face,
He only stopped when he kicked the vase.
Mr. Pipsqueak fell and got up again,
Nothing can stop him from what he had gain,
He ran past the woods, flowers and the farm,
What made him smile might also bring him harm.
Mr. Pipsqueak entered his blue house,
Small house, Mr. Pipsqueak has no spouse,
His tiny hand placed in his pocket,
Pulling out a gold, magic locket.
Mr. Pipsqueak stared at his possession,
Make him fall into a strong obsession,
"I am somebody because i am rich,"
He stated loudly, turning on the switch.
Mr. Pipsqueak dug a hole in the ground,
He buried it just like how it was found,
He laughed and his belly moved up and down,
"I am rich because IT is in the ground."
Do you remember the girl sitting on the floor?
Curiously, you stared from the door,
You introduced yourself and shook my hand,
That was how we became friends.
Through the years we laugh and play,
Imagination of demons we both slay,
Then we laugh and play again,
That was how i know we were friends.
Remember how we dried those rice in the sun?
It was coloured and we had so much fun,
Mostly, it was fun to have a good friend,
I thought it was going to end.
We wrote lyrics on a blue book,
Lyrics from Michael Jackson, i once took,
We memorized and we sang,
Thinking of it now, it gives me a pang.
Animals shaped eraser, we too collected,
It was fun but soon, you were infected,
By the other; who you claimed a new friend,
In high school, that was when i lose my best friend.
We went our separate ways without any fight,
Just say 'hi' like we were never tight,
Everyday your new best friend took you away,
Willingly you followed while i still pray.
I remembered meeting up in the chapel,
And you offered me an apple,
You thought me how to really pray,
Losing you as my best friend was the hardest bill to pay.
Our friendship were left hanging on the line,
I counted the years and the number was nine,
If we meet, we meet and if we don't, we don't,
What role do i play, it is still unknown.
Nine years had passed and i still think,
Memories float while the boat sink,
I wished that things had been better,
I lose my best friend once, that really matter.
I still lay in bed and wonder,
My thoughts louder than the thunder,
What if we were still best friends?
My pain then, i don't have to pretend.
I've just been to a funeral this morning. Funerals are obviously sad and emotional. Thus, it is known as a dark parade. Such a young life was taken and most people would ask why? No one can answer that question but i guess that is our destiny. Life happens and ends. We have no say in it. "Wait. I don't want to be born now" or "Wait. I don't want to die now", these phrases can only be words. Birth and death wait for no one.
It made me think a lot about death. What does it feels like to die? Where will we go? Will we wonder around and for how long? What about our soul? Do we know that we are dead? What is next after death? Is there another life after that? Is it really goodbye? Different religion view death differently. Plus, the ritual are so different. But, all these questions can only be answered when it is our time to leave Earth.
Life is momentarily. Appreciate your family, your loved ones and your friends. Do not take them for granted because the time you spent with them will be your most precious memories when they are gone. With your memories you will never forget them. So, it will never be a goodbye for good. It will just be short time of separation.
