Life and Death

"Just kill me now," she begged while they were talking. It had been weeks that he saw her feeling so down. They were on the park bench facing the lake. He looked at her and noticed that she had been crying. There was only silence after that sentence. He did not know what to say to make her pain go away.
Murray and Chrissa knew each other in High School. She felt the sense of belonging when they are together. They fell in love and out of love because they are always fighting as a couple. The only became best friends and promised to be with wach other. That lake is the lake that they will go to talk out their problem.
"What is the matter?" he asked breaking the silence. "I don't know anymore, Murray" she answered. "Life is somehow not worth living", she cried. It may be true as her parents just divorced and she was fired doing the thing that she like best. Murray just said, "It is all right" and huged her.
"Just be patience. You will find work again. I am sure that your parents still loves you," stated Murray caressing her soft brown hair. She appologized for crying on his shirt. There they were and she do not understand why after being married for 45 years, her parents are still getting a divirce. Do they really want to spend time alone until they die? Murray opened his bag and passed a beer to her.
When evening fall there was no conversation at all. Chrissa is in her own world and Murray is just there to show his support. All that Chrissa need was time to clear her head. "Let's go home", she said when the night fall. Their walk home was busied with thoughts about love and love. "Just call me and know that i love you, "said Murray before heading to another way.
That was the last time he saw Chrissa. After their day in the park, Chrissa was found unconscious. When Murrau heard the news, he rushed to the hospital to be with her. On the second morning in the hospital, she woke up and told Murray that she love him and asked him to get some lunch. When Murray came back, she slipped into a coma and that night, she passed away.
Doctors concluded that her heart failed and all these years, only Chrissa knew what was going on. Murray was killed a year later in a car crash and his last word was, "I can see her". It is scary to think about life and death. You may spend time with your friends or your love ones and the next thing you know, they are dead. Appriciate them before it is too late.

Fool

I have heard the same words over again,
Waiting on the other line for me to reply,
I felt so empty and wrong,
I know that I have to be strong.

I tried to moved on but I always look back,
Wishing that I never pack,
When I think that I am strong again,
You called and it feels like no end.

Was I a fool to fall for you?
Was it me or is it you?
Who is at lost here?
Whose heart that is not here?

You called on the line and I let it ring,
Apart of me wanted to sing,
Apart of me want to cry,
All this time I am still asking why.

I longed for you when I am lonely,
I want you to be mine only,
Someone that will wait on me,
But, you cannot see.

I thought that life would be different,
I was wrong because I cried, often,
Thinking that I would start celebrating Valentine,
What a fool to have this thought.

Sick and tired of being all alone,
I want someone to make me feel wanted,
I want to feel that I belong to someone,
I was a fool to fall for you,
A fool to pick up the phone,
After you hang up,
I feel so lonely and drowned myself in tears.

I will still know

Like a broken chair caught in the rain,
In the front yard waiting to be rescue,
Maybe a carpenter who could fix it,
Maybe then, there will be a place of belonging.

There it was for days and nights,
Paraded to the public with its ugliness,
It was once a beautiful piece of furniture,
After all these years, it loses its beauty.

If you were caught in my rain,
I would shelter you with my umbrella,
You know that you are always welcome,
All you have to do is call my name.

I would not leave you to bleed if you fall,
I will bring the first aid to mend your wound,
That is how a friend should be,
Always there, especially when you fall.

You can lean on my shoulder, you can complain,
I will stand with you and listen,
If you cry, I will cry too,
It hurt me to see your tears.

I was that broken chair for a long time,
Always unwanted by any groups,
Don’t worry my friend; I know how it feels like,
I was once your victim to this pain.

I would not push you aside because I care,
I would not let you be paraded as ‘friendless’,
You know, that you can always have me,
Cause I will still know you and be here.

Walking zombies

The sun is going down, darkness fall,
Everyone is in the house making some call,
The dead will rise from their grave tonight,
The walking zombies vs human, in sight.

Low grunting sound, walking around town,
Go for cover, stay put, do not make a sound,
Any victim they comes accross will be dead,
Walking zombies all losing their head.

In their ruined clothes they drag along the way,
Do not communicate as they won't understand a word you say,
RUN, RUN for your life and just be strong,
They are the walking zombies, all are wrong.

Their eyes tell that they are dead but they are not,
Mouth dripping with blood that is still hot,
All skin, organs and flesh are their sources of food,
The walking zombies will kill for good.

They capture their victims without any mercy,
"No sir! That is not little Percy",
He is dead before...but risen agaib,
He is a walking zombie who will eat your brain.

Shoot them in the head to kill them,
They are not human, not even condemn,
Once the virus breaks here lies the humanity,
One mistake and we lose our insanity.

DAMN

If i could pick an emotion now, it would be between being angry and irritated.It is only almost 9AM and i am feeling like this.Guess it is not my day today.The one thing that i hate being in campus is having a roomate.Every semester i am given a roomate that could barely compromise.A roomate that thinks that she is alone in this room.Other words they are selfish.
When i enter this semester,I thought differently but after a few weeks, i was wrong...like always.There were just so much noise especially in the morning.Like the previous two roomates,there was so much banging!!!Is that what people want to hear early in the morning.It gets to me this morning when she sets the dam alarm to 5.45AM and just let it ring a while.I went to the toilet then and it was off.
Then, woke up again before 8AM because of the banging and talking to her friend and a final slam on the door before she left.Buenos diaz to me,i am awake.Hardly slept and had a bad dream about Bambi. I couldn't imagine how today is going to be like.What else can be worse than spoiling my mood this early and i got class until 6PM.I am already having a headache...
I never did get a single room though i asked for it and i am stuck here.I am not going to move out because it is already my final years.Guess that i will just have to deal with it and hoping that i can just sleep through the noise everyday.It makes me miss home because i have my own room and Bambi too.Life is a bitch but i know i just have to hold on.It is not easy but i have been through this shit before.

UnBeLiEvEaBlE

There is no word to describe what i feel now. I had a relationship for a while but it is a crazy one. I was not even sure that it will work as this relationship started on Friday the 13th and it really is doom.I never believe in such days but who knows?
Anyway, i was seeing a guy but i guess we are history now.There is no more 'we'. How can you love someone who only wanted sex and want that to be the base of the relationship? When we talk ,it is all about him being horny.Gosh, is there no way that guys can control it? Is sex the only there is up in their head? Do they wake up and say "I need sex". It is horrible!!! Every sms, every mail, every messenger is all about SEX!!! At times, i think that he only sees me as a sex object though he claimed that it is not true. Am i wrong not to compromise? I don't think so.
We broke up not because of that but because of the sake of religion. He wanted to convert to another religion. Of course, i do not. What if i have really fallen in love with him? What should i do then?When i told him that, he siad that we are not intimate yet so i do not have to worry.What does that mean anyway? Is it when we start having sex is the time when we are intimate? So does that mean that we are not in love?I guess my feeling for him is just a game for him for sex. Sorry but that is not me. This means that he is not ready for a relationship or commitment so what is the point?
My heart shattered into millions of pieces but there is no tears. Not a single tears. It is either i am trying to be strong or in the state of denial. I wish him all the best and hope that he can find another girl that can satisfy him sexually. As for me, there are still a lot of fish in the sea and if i can't have any then....guess i will be spending my life alone.

Miss

It has been a while since i last blog in. I am now, back in campus.As a matter a fact, it is only 9AM and i am dress but class only starts at 11AM.I woke up around 8AM cuz i canot sleep.The reason seems obvious if you know me.I get restless the first few weeks of the new semester. Well, i miss my dog, Bambi so much. You may think that it is silly feeling this way but it is not.
I spend my time with Bambi a lot. I go to sleep at night with him by my side and wakes up in the morning with him by my side. In campus, i wakes up with spongebob with me and it is so much different.That explains the reason i woke up early. I woke up crying because Bambi is not here. Again, you may say stop being so childish or being a big baby because he is just a dog or my brother is looking after him.All that is true but all that i can say is that i miss my Bambi so much. Miss is just a word but it means more if you are feeling it. There is no actual word to describe it. Everyone told me that he will be ok and not to cry.How is that possible?I spend my sleeping hours with Bambi and proabably most of my time during the holidays. I hate feeling this way but i know that i will feel better when i starts getting busy. So for now, i just have to be strong and do what i am suppose to.