There is no word to describe what i feel now. I had a relationship for a while but it is a crazy one. I was not even sure that it will work as this relationship started on Friday the 13th and it really is doom.I never believe in such days but who knows?
Anyway, i was seeing a guy but i guess we are history now.There is no more 'we'. How can you love someone who only wanted sex and want that to be the base of the relationship? When we talk ,it is all about him being horny.Gosh, is there no way that guys can control it? Is sex the only there is up in their head? Do they wake up and say "I need sex". It is horrible!!! Every sms, every mail, every messenger is all about SEX!!! At times, i think that he only sees me as a sex object though he claimed that it is not true. Am i wrong not to compromise? I don't think so.
We broke up not because of that but because of the sake of religion. He wanted to convert to another religion. Of course, i do not. What if i have really fallen in love with him? What should i do then?When i told him that, he siad that we are not intimate yet so i do not have to worry.What does that mean anyway? Is it when we start having sex is the time when we are intimate? So does that mean that we are not in love?I guess my feeling for him is just a game for him for sex. Sorry but that is not me. This means that he is not ready for a relationship or commitment so what is the point?
My heart shattered into millions of pieces but there is no tears. Not a single tears. It is either i am trying to be strong or in the state of denial. I wish him all the best and hope that he can find another girl that can satisfy him sexually. As for me, there are still a lot of fish in the sea and if i can't have any then....guess i will be spending my life alone.
Thursday 24 July 2008
Monday 7 July 2008
Miss
It has been a while since i last blog in. I am now, back in campus.As a matter a fact, it is only 9AM and i am dress but class only starts at 11AM.I woke up around 8AM cuz i canot sleep.The reason seems obvious if you know me.I get restless the first few weeks of the new semester. Well, i miss my dog, Bambi so much. You may think that it is silly feeling this way but it is not.
I spend my time with Bambi a lot. I go to sleep at night with him by my side and wakes up in the morning with him by my side. In campus, i wakes up with spongebob with me and it is so much different.That explains the reason i woke up early. I woke up crying because Bambi is not here. Again, you may say stop being so childish or being a big baby because he is just a dog or my brother is looking after him.All that is true but all that i can say is that i miss my Bambi so much. Miss is just a word but it means more if you are feeling it. There is no actual word to describe it. Everyone told me that he will be ok and not to cry.How is that possible?I spend my sleeping hours with Bambi and proabably most of my time during the holidays. I hate feeling this way but i know that i will feel better when i starts getting busy. So for now, i just have to be strong and do what i am suppose to.
I spend my time with Bambi a lot. I go to sleep at night with him by my side and wakes up in the morning with him by my side. In campus, i wakes up with spongebob with me and it is so much different.That explains the reason i woke up early. I woke up crying because Bambi is not here. Again, you may say stop being so childish or being a big baby because he is just a dog or my brother is looking after him.All that is true but all that i can say is that i miss my Bambi so much. Miss is just a word but it means more if you are feeling it. There is no actual word to describe it. Everyone told me that he will be ok and not to cry.How is that possible?I spend my sleeping hours with Bambi and proabably most of my time during the holidays. I hate feeling this way but i know that i will feel better when i starts getting busy. So for now, i just have to be strong and do what i am suppose to.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
